Sunday, December 3, 2006

Kiss the Cook pt. 2 or Why I Should Probably NEVER be allowed in the kitchen

Appliances which are not Katrina-Approved:
(aka-appliances I do not and should not use or be around)

1. Ovens
Why bother?

2. Toaster Ovens
Like actual ovens only smaller

3. Toasters
I don't really have an explanation for my dislike of toasters. I do have a childhood trauma relating to a toaster though. It involves a small microwave fire. Now that I think about it, that should naturally make me not like microwaves......But, no, I still like microwaves

4. Trash Compactors
My apartment has one, I don't use it, I keep thinking I am going to push the wrong button and the trash will explode everywhere and the stench of old milk will linger in the nooks behind the refrigerator. Have you ever wondered what is in those nooks?

5. Juicers
I am not even going to begin explaining this one. Ever had a salad in a glass?

6. Blenders
I can never get the lid on properly and things end up exploding everywhere

7. Grinders
I am always afraid one of my fingers will mysteriously be sucked in and obliterated

8. Mixers
Cake batter always ends up on the walls, the ceiling, innocent passers-by

9. Garbage Disposals
I constantly fear that I have dropped silverware down there, but of course I can't stick my hand in because then it will automatically turn on and shred my hand to pieces

10. Smoke detectors No, i don't smoke. As it turns out my smoke detector and my oven are in cahoots. It went off the other night and there wasn't smoke. Apparently when my oven is on broil the stinking thing thinks there is a fire.... the joys of cooking my toe.

Katrina- Approved Appliances:
(aka- appliances I use frequently)

1. Microwaves
I can work wonders with microwaves

2. Any Mr. Coffee- Coffee Maker
I am not typically a morning person so long ago I made sure I learned how to make coffee

3. Most dishwashers
though I have been known to trip over and/or fall into them. In the middle of the night I can walk from my bedroom to the kitchen in pitch blackness and not run into anything, but an open dishwasher in the near proximity to me is an accident waiting to happen. I admit, it's odd that I still like dishwashers, but I do

4. Refrigerators
very user friendly. And yet I am always baffled by the rate at which certain foods grow fur. Don't worry I don't eat the furry food. The most puzzling "food gone bad" experience was the pineapple juice I forgot about that one time. I was amazed that it turned black and yet it didn't smell bad in the least bit

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