Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Me vs the Gecko

I have a gecko for a roommate... Don't get me wrong, geckos are good, they eat small bugs and such... I just don't want the little bugger in my living space. Please brace yourself. I am all about peace, but the story I am about to disclose involves a small degree of violence. I hope you will not think less of me. Here is how it all went down...

I was watching TV one night enjoying some
Raising Cane's chicken strips when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on floor coming toward my foot. I am not what anyone would consider a drama queen...I am pretty laid back on the regular... but I tell you this now... Anything that is bug or insect like has Always ALWAYS made me a little uneasy. So when I thought I saw something moving by my foot I immediately jumped out of my seat and ran to turn on more lights. It was then that I saw what caught my eye, a gecko. Though I am from a quiet town in Texas I am not by any small stretch of the imagination a farm girl. So I do not know the proper way to deal with geckos... that being said, I am almost certain a true farm girl would not even be concerned. I live out in the middle of nowhere so there wasn't really anyone I could who could quickly come over and rescue me so I called my parents...

Here is how that conversation went...

Mom: Hello?
Me: Mom! I have a gecko!
Mom: a WHAT?
Me: a gecko... you know the small lizard things
Mom: OH! OH NO! What are you going to do?
Me: I don't know. I don't know what to do. He's so small and he moves so quickly. I don't know how to get it out of here?
Mom: Oh my goodness, Katrina. Are you going to have to move?
Me: Mom. I don't think so. It's just one gecko.
Mom: I know, but are you okay with it being in there? Where are you going to sleep?
Me: Mom! Mom! I don't know! I just need to figure out how to get it out of here.
Mom: Oh my gosh. Just a second. let me let you talk to your dad.
Dad: Katrina?
Me: Dad! I have a gecko.
Dad: A geico?
Me: No. a gecko. the small lizard thingys.
Dad: Oh. those are small why don't you just catch it and throw it outside.
Me: Dad! he's too fast. And I don't want to touch it. Can I step on it?
Dad: Yeah. Step on it.
Me: Dad! No! Ewww. It's like a lizard! It has bones and stuff... I don't think I could step on it. Can I spray it with bug spray?
Dad: Yeah that might work. Katrina, you know the Bible says for us to take dominion over the animals and creeping things so you need to do that. Take dominion. You have dominion over that gecko. Find something you can hit it with and then scoop it up and throw it outside. Okay?
Me: okay....
Dad: Ok. so find something you can hit it with.
Me: okay
Dad: Your mom wants to know if you have called the front office yet
Me: No... I don't think there is anything they could do
Dad: Hang on... here's your mom
Mom: Katrina, you need to call them and see if there is somewhere you can sleep tonight. They might even be able to move you into another apartment.
Me: Mom. It's just one gecko. I don't think they will let me move for that.
Mom: Well I don't think it would hurt to ask, Katrina. What if there are more?
Me: Mom, this is the first one I have seen inside my apartment. If I find more then yes, I will call them.
Mom: Ok... Your dad wants to know if you found something to hit it with
Me: Hang on... I don't see him anymore. I need to see where he went.
Mom: What are you going to do to keep from going into your room?
Me: Mom! I'm trying not to think about that. I WILL find it.
Mom: okay, OKAY.
Me: Let me find it and I will call you guys back.

I then proceeded to move and shake everything in my living room to no avail. I didn't see anything scurrying around anywhere. In my haste to come up with a solution I decided that geckos were cold blooded and therefore would run from high heat... so I am walking through my apartment with a blow dryer in one hand and bug spray in the other. I knew at the time that I looked stone crazy, but I didn't care... I had an unwelcome house guest. I even propped my front door open in the hopes that he would just run outside of his own volition. I am soooo thankful none of my neighbors walked by. If anyone had seen me they would have thought I was on serious drugs. I was systematically blow drying my furniture for crying out loud.

This went on for a good five to ten minutes when I noticed a peculiar brown spot on the wall. I had him cornered now! Somehow, someway I eventually scared him back down to the ground and behind the entertainment unit where I then hit him with a power strip repeatedly.

Yeah... I warned you this was a violent story. Anyway one Saturday afternoon a few weeks ago I saw him again. At least, I tell myself it was the same gecko. I refuse to contemplate the possibility of a whole family of geckos dwelling in my apartment with me. Anyway, I saw him crawling around near the fireplace so I think he has officially left the building because I haven't seen him since. I opted for an apartment with a lake view and this is what I got....

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